Elaine Cary and John Michael remembered. We have Lost 33 Classmates !

October, 2011

This post has been updated to remember Elaine (Dutcher) Cary who I want to remember on this 1964 CHS Blog. Back in 2006 Elaine contacted me about the 40th Alumni Reunion and helped me buy tickets, etc. However, I was not able to attend, but she sent me a t-shirt and found a 1964 yearbook for me, because I had lost mine moving around the country. At that time, I had just set-up 3 blogs for work and my family. Elaine asked if I could set-up a site for our CHS Class to help us share information, pictures, and catch up on class news. This site has been the result of that request. One of the first post was the notice below about the passing of John Michaels, and if you read the comments on this post you will notice one of the first comments was added by Elaine. Also included in this post is a tribute to Elaine written by Ron Hummel.

Tribute to our classmate, Elaine.

High school can be a very unforgiving place to reside. Social acceptance is a very difficult situation to experience in high school. But how you deal with that type of relationship can last forever.

I had a classmate in my high school class who was always smiling and cheerful and at least to me seemed to be very happy with life although she wasn’t always treated well by her follow classmates. Now I’m NOT painting a picture that she was taunted or made fun of, that’s not the point. She many times kept to herself or a small group of friends and wasn’t always invited or asked to participate in certain social circles.

In fact while I believe that I was friendly and attempted to always say “Hi” I didn’t go out of my way either to associate with her.

When we graduated, this young lady became the seeker of all who belonged to the Class of 1964. She and Janie Jones (Jane Ryan, who produces e-mails to inform the class of upcoming events, timely messages and other notices,) another nice young lady who also had a small group of friends and while I did attempt to be nice and produce a smile when I saw her, I never really made an attempt to be in her circle of friends. Who understands what goes through the mind of an 18-year-old and their social network?

The young lady though I really want to highlight, is named Elaine Dutcher (Cary).

She sent cards on birthdays, special occasions and cards when someone from the class or loved one passed away. Now understand she didn’t just do this for her “old” group but for the entire class. Never once thinking anything about how that person treated her back in the day. She did this service, with a cheerful smile and an untiring effort for 47 years.

I had the opportunity in the summer of 2010 to return to my hometown, the thriving metropolis, Crawfordsville, Indiana and met some of my former classmates, including Elaine. Now understand that I had NEVER, NEVER attended a class reunion in the 45 years since we all graduated, with that said Jane and Elaine were the first to greet me. Both with big smiles and Elaine with that simple and sincere personality at least on this day, told a small but appreciative lie, when she stated “YOU look just like you did in high school Ron!”

We talked for many hours during that meeting and it was nice to see all my “Old” classmates.

As I left I couldn’t get over how nice, friendly and sincerely Elaine was. Oh yes the others were very kind and nice, but most I had more contact with in high school than I did with Elanie. So I was taken back that this individual who had mentioned how hard she had tried to find me and invite me to the reunions all these years. How glad she was to see me finally, all the time with a smile and a glow of sincerity in her voice.

As I headed home I realized that relationships could develop, even though one or more of the parties really doesn’t participate. I also thought how wonderful it was, that Elaine who never asked for anything, than to assist her classmates, many who never gave her the time of day and me as well who only said “hi” and maybe a smile when I saw her in the hallway, all these years was truly a “friend” who deep down inside loved HER class and her classmates, ALL of them, sincerely and with deep devotion. That is a “relationship.”

I’m saddened to report that recently and unexpectedly Elanie passed away. We have lost a very good and dear friend, which most of us, including myself, never understood we had in the first place. But I will always remember her smiling face whenever I saw her and certainly as she greeted me upon my return home.

I wish I had played a more interested part in this relationship, but it didn’t matter to Elaine she chose to continue to be a friend, a classmate even if some of us didn’t!

Good-bye Elaine, you will be missed. Now more than ever as we realize what a good and loving friend we had in “our” relationship.


The context of this “relationship” portion was part of a Mr. Motivation seminar in Jacksonville, Florida and was transcribed by Susan A. Walters, it is unedited to maintain the content as it actually was delivered by Ron Hummel (Mr. Motivation) so that it could be shared with others from the Class of 1964. It may be reproduced and permission is granted to Jane Ryan, David Walls and her family to re-post if so desired. Gerald Werksman Esq. ________________________________

Below is the original post and comments posted on
4/2/2006

John R. Michael April 30, 1946 - March 31, 2006
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John R. Michael, 59, Crawfordsville died 4:30 p.m. Friday in St. Clare Medical Center. Mr. Michael was employed in the bindery department at RR Donnelly and Sons where he has been since 1965. He was a member of The Donnelly Club and was a 1964 Crawfordsville High School graduate.
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He was born April 30 1946, at Crawfordsville, to Donald Michael Sr. and Evelyn Shahan Michael. On April 5, 1996, he married Kathryn Grimes at Gatlinburg, Tenn.. She survives at Crawfordsville. Also surviving are his mother at Crawfordsville; one son, Patrick (Tonya), Crawfordsville; two daughters, Andrea Thompson, Crawfordsville and Rachel (Robert) Rasp, Brownsburg; two stepdaughters, Michelle (Tom) Norman and Jennifer Willis, both of Crawfordsville; one brother, Steven Michael, Thorntown; one half brother, Dutchie Michael, Texas; one sister, Patti (Doug) Merrill, Colfax; and seven grandchildren. His father, one brother, Mike Michael and a half sister, Peggy Grimes, are deceased.

*** Please read addition information on comment page attached to this post.
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